GêneroJuventudesSexualidade

O poder da pauta e o impacto do lip sync

6 de março de 2018
105

Por Pimolú, 23 anos.

Não sou o primeiro gay assumido da família!

A princípio, essa constatação isolada pode soar como um incrível fenômeno facilitador e determinante na vida de um garoto homossexual que teve a sorte de nascer dentro de um ambiente mente aberta, onde certas barreiras já tinham sido quebradas. Mas analisando hoje, apesar de realmente nunca ter tido grandes problemas em casa por conta da minha orientação sexual, consigo enxergar claramente que a mera existência desse contexto nunca contribuiu diretamente para a minha formação, meus dilemas, meus anseios durante o período de descobertas pelo simples fato disso nunca, never, jamais ter sido pauta em momento algum.

Quando meus pais se separaram, fui morar no interior com minha mãe e irmãos, lá não existia TV a cabo e uma porrada de outras coisas que eu tinha acesso quando estava em São Paulo na casa do meu pai, então durante a visita que acontecia uma única vez ao mês, era como se um portal capaz de me transportar para outro planeta fosse aberto, planeta este que tinha shopping, McDonald’s, metrô e… VH1. Eu estava com 15 anos, numa madrugada de ócio e tédio vagando pelos infinitos canais quando, de repente, eis que surge um programa cheio de performances, desafios criativos, roupas e maquiagens, shows de dublagem, músicas sensacionais que eu não conhecia, absolutamente tudo feito por drags.

Aquilo era inexplicável, eu torcia por um episódio inédito ou até mesmo uma maratona, em segredo absoluto calculadamente arquitetado como se estivesse fazendo a coisa mais errada do mundo, mesmo já sabendo e assumindo minha homossexualidade na época, mesmo já sabendo da existência de uma arte drag, não podia imaginar a reação de alguém ao me flagrar assistindo algo que atestasse de forma escancarada minha euforia por aquele universo.

Nunca antes algo na televisão havia conversado tão diretamente comigo e com as coisas que eu gostava, foi o primeiro contato que tive com a ideia de comunidade LGBT+, com o relato de um portador do vírus HIV ou de alguém que foi expulso de casa pela família, foi também a primeira vez que escutei o termo transexual, todas essas coisas tão distantes estavam bem ali na minha frente e de salto 15. Uma janela de possibilidades, curiosidades e interesses se abriu me fazendo buscar outros conteúdos, outros fatos, outras pessoas, outras histórias, tudo isso porque durante aqueles rápidos e velados episódios existia a chave mestra da transformação: a pauta.

Sim, eu tenho consciência de que sair do armário numa época em que isso não era comum requer toda coragem do mundo e me enche de orgulho ter alguém na família com essa história, sei também que todo assunto tabu é uma construção social que está enraizada até mesmo nos lugares menos ortodoxos. Busco sempre entender e lembrar dos meus privilégios, sofri e ainda sofro preconceito, tive e ainda tenho crises homéricas de existência, mas tenho plena convicção de que o ponto onde todas essas questões se encontram e evoluem para algo melhor é onde mora a informação e o conhecimento, únicas ferramentas capazes de promover a desconstrução e trazer uma compreensão maior e melhor de si mesmo, o que me torna apto a compreender melhor o próximo e bom… Onde existe troca, existe empatia.

Não sou o último gay assumido da família!

E espero poder contribuir de alguma forma para que – numa próxima geração talvez – a pauta mais importante seja o respeito e a liberdade de ser. Ser gay, ser não-binário, ser drag queen, ser escancarado, ser plenamente. Can I get an amen?

TagsDragHomossexualidadeLGBTSexualidade
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